It is not that I didn't know this, but this hit me more today again as I had an 11 year old girl spend yesterday and the night over at our place! I know she looks up to me alot, and is full of questions as she watches my every move as an older woman and mom. "How often do you have to feed/change her?" "Do you get lonely just being at home?" "Aren't you SO happy to have Kaylee?" "I can hardly wait til I am 29 and can have a baby of my own!..." Yes, it is very different living in the country and being at home without a job all day. Am I lonely? - I would answer no, I enjoy some of my own solitude though I do thoroughly enjoy being in relationship with others. This last year has provided a lot of rest for me after being engaged in full-time life ministry, but I am itching more and more to be engaged more fully in community and in deeper relationships with others. What that all consists of I am yet unsure, but that is part of the deep processing God is bringing me through. Am I happy...? - Yes, I am happy...and very grateful to have Kaylee...like I responded to this gal though, there is also a lot of sacrifice, changes, challenges, and growth! A young woman's dream is to be a "mommy" when you are everything to your child, they only want you and are comforted by you alone...but there is so much more that is required of you like choices of staying at home to raise my precious daughter instead of placing her in a daycare and working outside the home. There are days I wish I could say that I did more than change her diapers and feed her, but as I shared the day with this 11 year old girl I realized how quickly the days, weeks, months, years would go by! I really desire to take the time to treasure each moment with Kaylee even now when she is young and it feels like I am not doing anything significant. Yet I know I am helping build into her life, and I pray it is in a godly direction!
2 comments:
Excellent post. I think it is a feeling that every mother gets.
So true Pam...I would not have missed the opportunity of a minute of the time with you girls, even in your teens. Time flies and then the house is empty and life as a mom and woman is just never the same. I truly believe it is God's purpose for us Mom's to be all we can be for our children. Of course this is not without a lot of sacrifice on our part.
Yes I agree big changes in your life the last year.
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